Khamis, 7 Februari 2013


1.0         INTRODUCTION

Generally, ‘Ethics’ is very important in our everyday life because it is a code of values which guide our choices and actions and determine the purpose and course of our lives. In the built environment ‘ethics’ is to sustain collaborative trust and transparency in the cultural changes in the procurement methods during the development of the built environment. Ethical framework is very important in the built environment in order to make effective and fair decisions and also develop professional values because ethics provides standards of conduct, standards that indicate how one should behave based on moral duties and virtues, which themselves are derived from principles of right and wrong. 
            Nowadays, there are many unethical behavior and practices in the built environment such as dishonesty, cheating, selfish, bribery and many others that leads to corruptions. Therefore, this project paper will only focused only on one type of the unethical behavior and practice, which is purposely to study on what is actually so-called as ‘bribery’ and ‘corruption’ in the built environment. Furthermore, this paper also discussed on the factors caused to the bribery and corruption, examples or case studies and the Islamic perspectives on the issues.


2.1       BRIBERY

2.1.1   Definition

Bribery is a payment made to a person who holds a certain authority in consideration of a misuse of that authority to gain a certain benefit for the payer, which the payer is legally and morally not entitled to get.

It occurs when a conscious attempt is made to influence another person unfairly either with specific payment or gift, or any that influence to unfair advantage. Bribery is considered as a corrupt act. There are two parties in a bribe; the bribe given and the bribe receiver.

2.1.2   Categories of Bribery Motives

  1. Instrumental Motives

The bribe giver is to ensure that enforcing officer either does not take action or act leniently towards non-compliance of a regulation, or a specified design requirement.

  1. Institutional Motives

Refer to the government policies or legal regulations that unintentionally encourage bribery. It also refers to vagueness in the conduct of the project.

  1. Social Motives

Refer to interpersonal norms, practices, pressure, and social rules that drive a person to engage in bribery.

  1. Attitudinal Motives

Refer to the individual’s work temperament (character) that leads to an inclination towards practicing bribery.

2.1.3   Examples/Case Studies

The case studies subtracted from findings by Mohd Hisham Ariffin, Lecturer from Uitm, which was presented in MiCRA 2011. The case studies are based on the interviews with construction teams. The interviewees were 16 civil engineering consultants (cis), and 18 contractors in Selangor and Kuala Lumpur. Instrumental Motives

  1. Contractor quoting a low tender to get the project and thus had to accept no profit or the thinnest of profit margins. Therefore, the cost cutting through the provision of substandard materials or work quality is used to prevent the project from becoming a loss-making venture. Once the work was discovered, bribes had to be paid out to the clerk of works or other enforcement personnel of the client and consultants to ignore or accept the substandard work or poor quality work.

  1. Subcontractor bribing the main contractor employee to obtain his approval for defective work.

  1. Main contractor had to bribe the client employee who is assigned to release funds for successful claims so that the funds are reimbursed faster than normal.

  1. Contractor bribing the employee of a QS consultant so that the employee would ‘over-measure’ the amount of work done so that the contractor is paid more that what he had done.

Interviewee 1   

“..The contractor has to give them (the enforcers) some stuff of money, so that he (sic) will help the contractor in the approval lah…or sometimes he lay down approval conditions that the contractor find difficult to comply with, right? So the contractor is forced to be on good terms with the enforcer by giving a little corruption (bribe). Then, he will cooperate with the contractor”.

Interviewee 2

“…for example a person who enforces by the book (i.e. strictly) will be falsely accused of corruption. Let’s say he is not on the take. But when he does not approve most of the contractor work, in fact every work is not approved, then he will falsely accused that he actually wants a bribe. So, they say that if he gets the bribe, the work will be approved”. Institutional Motives

  1. Some so-called bribery are considered to be actually positive cultural practice such as giving a superior party, lunch, breakfast, hampers.  This cultural practice considered as a means of maintaining good consultant-contractor relations.

Interviewee 1  

“..So if we want to define bribery, sometimes during Chinese New Year, it is normal for a Chinese person to visit and give angpows to his associates. If we rejected his offer of an angpow, he will definitely upset. But suitable to the situation, it is logical that the angpow had RM10 thousand or RM100 thousand? This example, how can it not be vague? Let us define say gifts. What is the form of the gift? What is the price limits? If a person treats another person to a drink, each gift and each service is considered bribes. Having a drink with him is also considered a bribe if the friend paid for it”. Social Motives

  1. Bribery is part of the industry’s culture. Even one wants to avoid bribery it is difficult to do so. Good relations between the parties help to smoothen and remove delays to the work process. Sometimes, the bribe is forced upon by the bribe giver.

  1. When a junior employee or subordinate does not want to entertain a demand for a bribe, a good strategy is to refer the demand to his more experienced superiors. In this way, he transfers the ethical problem to others.

Interviewee 1  

“…for example, if the contractor sees that A (i.e. the enforcer) has a car. The tyres look sorry looking. OK, so the contractor replaces those tyres with new good looking ones. Actually, A did not even ask for it. But A thinks, why refuse free good-looking tyres? He does not have spent his own money at all….” Attitudinal Motives

  1. Bribery can easily become a habit and has cautioned against ever taking a bribe. Once a person fails to resist the temptation to get a bribe, the next offer of bribe is less hard to accept and so on. Thus, it becomes a habit to accept bribes when offered or to solicit for bribes. Women are less likely to solicit for bribes because they are shyer than men.

Interviewee 1  

“…it is normal that when young people become engineers, they tend to want buy all the gadgets which are widely available today. Temptation (to young people) is very high. I know because I have young teenagers. These things cost a lot of money. (Life is) very materialistic. Now, people want material things. So sometimes, people will do anything as long as they get the things they desire….”

Interviewee 2

“I have worked long in this construction industry. So my advice (to the interviewer) is if you do not want to participate at all in bribery, do not enter the construction industry. That is my advice because you will face bribery. Confirmed! One hundred percent (probability) that you will face bribery! If you don’t, if you do not really want to face bribery, do not enter this industry. Enter another industry. Let’s say tailoring or let’s say catering”.

2.2       CORRUPTION

2.2.1   Definition

Whereas, corruption is a requesting, offering, giving or accepting, directly or indirectly, a bribe or any other undue advantage or prospect thereof which distorts the proper performance of any duty or behavior required of the recipient of the bribe.

There are two types of corruptions, an active corruption and a passive corruption. The active corruption is offering or asking for the bribe directly or indirectly, meanwhile, the passive corruption is accepting or not objecting to bribes.  

2.2.2   Categories of Corruption

According to Transparency International (TI), corruption can be categorized into four such as the followings:-

  1. Bribery

Offering of an undue award (supply side) or the demanding or receiving of a reward (demand side) in order to get favours and may be initiated by an individual or a corporation (institutional bribery). It may also be shared and secret kickbacks can be offered to certain individuals on the supply side in order to help its payment.

  1. Extortion

Is so called as blackmail where a payment is demanded where there is little choice but to comply. This is normally connected to gang or mafia activity controlling certain activities or actions in coercion (by force).

  1. Fraud

Wrongful approval of work which is substandard or other deception to add false value or payments through accounts that now do not comply with the facts.

  1. Concealment

A practice also associated with corruption and often involves the excess payment of an agent whose services are vague, who proceeds to pass on facilitation or bribe payments.

2.2.3             Why Corruption?

According to Transparency International, corruption in the built environment is due to MONEY. Based on Fewings (2009), the reasons why corruption happens due to several factors such as:

  1. Low salaries – public officials who are tempted because of a need to supplement their income.

  1. Greedy – satisfying the desire for status, influence to become rich and powerful.

  1. Sudden financial demand – being diagnosed as danger diseases which required large amount of money to cure it, or involved in accident.

  1. For approval of works – drawings approval, local authority approval

  1. To speed up payment
  2. Business survival – to hide certain problems in order to get profit.

  1. To make strict enforcer become lenient

  1. Weak religious principles – pretend to ignore the bribe while commit the bribe and do not even recognize and understand what is bribe.


Allah says in Qur’an 9:24, “love God more than business”. This shows whatever Allah says for mankind to do, mankind has to follow, and whatever Allah prevents mankind to commit, he has to prohibit. Bribery is prohibited by Allah as stated in hadith: Avoid bribery/corruption. “The one who gives and the one who receives are in Hell.” The Islamic perspective towards bribery and corruption is, they are wrong and to those commit them will get sin and anger or Allah.

Moreover, Islam also concern on HALAL and HARAM. The earnings from bribery are HARAM. Haram earnings will not get barakah from Allah.

Besides, to commit bribery and corruption leads mankind to dishonesty, unjustice and not amanah to Allah.

Another types of corruptions besides bribery is fraud. Fraud is one of act in the corruption. Islam promotes to do not deal in fraud and be transparent, be fair and just in all your dealings (al-Mutaffifin 1-3; al-Isra’ 35) Allah says: “Deal not unjustly and you shall not be dealt with unjustly.” (Qur’an 83: 1-4) Qur’an also condemns the people of the Prophet Shu’ayb for their unjust business practices. (al-Shu’ara’ 177-185).

Based on the interviews, it can be seen how bad corruption in construction in Malaysia is. There should be action to be taken in order to minimize and delete all those bribery and corruption. The knowledge and exposure on how bribery occurs, what so-called bribery is very important in order to enhance the self awareness on reminding self to prevent and avoid to involve with it. Sometimes, people not clear with what so called bribery, because it occurs in vagueness, become habit, become culture.

The existing regulation, rules, funds and agency to prevent bribery and corruption should be the secondary rules to enforce the Islamic stand on bribery and corruption. The main rule, regulations, to prevent from bribery and corruption is the Islamic foundation on the bribery and corruption. If from the beginning in the construction (built environment), the knowledge, course, training, self awareness was main concern, there will be no problem of such bribery and construction, the problem can be little in cases which may be commit by non-muslim. It is better to prevent from the beginning rather than to cure.


The bribery and corruption are the ethical problems in our built environment. There are varies motives to bribe and to do corruption in the built environment. The bribery is due to four types of motives which are instrumental, institutional, social and attitudinal motives whereas, the corruption including bribery, extortion, fraud and concealment. The reasons of the occurrence of bribery and corruption are because of, low salaries, greedy, sudden financial demand, work approval, to speed up payment, business survival, to make strict enforcer to become lenient and weak religious principles. Bribery and corruption are prohibited in Islam, they (those who commit them) will be throwing to Hell, their earnings are haram and no barakah from Allah, they create unjustice, and not amanah. Although there were many rules, regulations and funds imposed to those who commit bribery and corruption, but still out there cases occur on the same issues. It is not easy to cure the diseases but better to prevent it. In this situation, self awareness and religious stand is very important to nature back the culture practice of bribe and corruption in the built environment.


Fewings, P. (2009). Ethics for the Built Environment (chapter 10, p. 243). Taylor & Francis: Oxon.
Spahic Omer. (2011). Lecture notes: Values, Ethics and Built Environment. KAED:IIUM.
Mohd Hisham Ariffin. Conference paper. 10th Management in Construction Researchers (MiCRA) Conference 2011 in Kulliyyah of Architecture and Environmental Design (KAED), International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM). 26 – 27 July 2011.


Rabu, 6 Februari 2013


Perjumpaan aku dengan khairul semula membuka semula hati aku padanya. Tak tau mengapa, hati ini begitu mudah menerimanya semula setelah ape yang berlaku. jejaka pertama yang berjaya mencuri hati aku..haahaha… hanya permulaan dengan tersalah mendail nombor telefon..

Sejak diketemukan semula, aku makin kerap keluar dating, tengok wayang kadang-kadang sampai larut malam. Dan sempena pertemuan ini, dia telah menghadiahkan aku gelang.. aku sangat suka gelang itu. Cantik dan sesuai dengan tanganku.. dia juga ade menghadiahkan aku walkman…aahh..alangkah bahagianya aku rasakan disaat itu..sgt surprise ku rasakan…

Walaubagaimanapun.. sejak ketemu kembali dengan khairul aku mengalami masalah dalam pembelajaranku.. focus belajarku terganggu dan jiwaku kacau dan tiada ketenangan dalam hidup.. keluargaku memang dari dulu lagi tidak merestui perhubunganku dengan khairul… mendengar keluhan aku, dan juga kesihatanku yang semakin merudum, mak ku hantar aku ke pusat rawatan islam.. Alhamdulillah..di situ aku di ajarkan kembali ilmu agama, mencelikkan mata aku kepada keindahan agama islam.. dan mendengar pandangan keluarga aku terus memutuskan perhubungan dengan khairul dan Alhamdulillah, dia pun sudah mendirikan rumah tangga tahun lalu..

Kini bermula kehidupan aku yang lonely as student. Memandangkan aku menyewa dibilik yang hanya ade 2 orang penghuni shj sedangkan ade 2 lagi bilik kosong, aku jadi sunyi. Dalam keadaan yang begini aku tidak boleh kesunyian.. jiwa aku semakin aku pun mula melepak di computer lab di institusi yg aku belajar. Lab tu memang disediakan utk pelajar..dan memang member2 yg selalu lepak kat lab tu aku kenal. Member aku sape lagi kalu bukan medic, liza, and zie. Tapi ade dua orang yang aku xkenal. Dapat kenal 2 orang kawan baru, bebet and fadilah. Masa melepak kat lab tu , member aku liza, zie and fadilah ni duk sibuk wat blog masing2.. hmm.. macam menarik.aku pun mintak liza ajarkan buat blog. Akan tetapi liza ni taraf amatur dia pas aku kat blogger professional..fadilah@nahwanNur.. Bermulalah perkenalan yang semakin rapat antara kami.. duk blajar wat blog.. sesambil mendengar lagu kegemaran norisz ‘albi nadaak’… sampai aku pun jadi ske lak lagu tu.. wakakakk… so kami la yg selalu duk melepak and memeriahkan lab tu.. bila boring makan kat cafĂ© dalam universiti, kami ke kedai “makcik”.. huhuhu…

aku dan bebudak ni jurusan berbeza..aku study by coursework..bebudak ni fully research..oleh kerana member2 coursework aku kebanyakannya dah berumahtangga..dan jarang aku ni lonely lagi..dlam kelas lonely..kat bilik lonely..wakakka..loneliness..Cuma time nak exam tu ske la skit…sbb k.mala (coursemate) ade amik bilik kat “apartment” aku tu.. tapi kini aku dah berteman..fadilah sudah mintak sebilik dengan aku..kini “apartment” aku sudah ade 3 penghuni.. sebelum ni dia ade gak squat sebilik ngan aku..on-off la..bila dia ade program jek la ..dia ni aktif persatuan agama dan ceramah-ceramah ni..bagusla..aku pun ske gak kalu dia ade..xla aku sunyi.. wakaka.. tapi 1 bende yang aku selalu naik angin..ialah berebut kipas…wakakka..lawak2… aku ni ske kipas laju..yang si mek ni plak..pi padam kipas.. tang ni aku memang selfish.. “sori ye fadilah, I xleh hidup tanpa kipas”..:P… oleh kerana tiada keserasian di situ..maka itu sbb dia mengambil keputusan utk menyewa di bilik lain tapi dlm apartment yang sama..:P

Dalam masa yang sama, ade juga kumbang yang ade, syarill and ardi.. depa ni kejap ade kejap xdek la… tapi selalu gak la duk melepak kat lab tu.. oleh kerana aku menyewa di dalam universiti aku paling selalu melepak kat lab tu.. sbb… dekat..and xla sunyi.. teringat dulu2..kami selalu ke tasik titiwangsa, makan roti aiskrim..huhuhu.. tgk movie..setem and adnan sempit.. wah best.. pegii kuala kubu, pegi kl.. sambut besday zie kat lab..huhuhu..rindu gak kadang2 masa2 itu.pegi floria..naik cruze..kat putrajaya..pegi piknik kat kemensah..wat BBQ..seronok weh… I like.. ade moment yang menarik masa dalam perjalanan pulang dari kuala kubu baru..cerita dn pengakuan..wakakka..sesambil makan ais krim kon..melihat air tenang di empangan ulu yam..wakakak…

Waakak.. jeng jeng..sudah tiba bulan pose…kini pose ku dah berteman..”the blogger” ske sahur..slalu tinggalkan lauk sardine kat aku..ade la teman..alhamdulillah.. nak dijadikan cerita di sebuah cerita.. “mood blogger ni xberapa baik satu hari ni”..ketika berbuka pose.. aku tersalah cakap wat dia kecik hati and the reaction pun wat aku terasa hati..huhuhu..sejak itu the blogger jd pendiam.xbanyak cakap..dia de kawan2nye yg selalu datang dan ade program..jarang dibilik..terawih di masjid..iftar dengan persatuan, weekend balik umah family..aku pun tetiba rasa lonely again…

oleh kerana computer lab untuk student dibuka 24hours and 7 days a week.. aku selalu lepak situ..aku ske sgt chatting..yM.. tetiba tgh chatting ade sorg member ni yg jarang2 chatting..tetiba rini dia online.. classmate..shahril nama dia..saje aku nak bertanya khabar..bermulala episode baru dalam hidup aku..mula2 aku just jadi advisor and motivator jek pada dia..tapi ntah macam mane dalam xsedar ade satu perasaan bercambah….uhuk…

Masa berlalu. Kini tiba masa utk aku wat research. Perjalanan research aku pada mulanya on track and predicted boleh finish on time.. erkkgghhh… aku hanya merancang..tuhan yang menentukan.. oleh kerana research aku kene guna aku nyer supervisor station aku duk kat lab wat eksperimen.. Setelah menyiapkan proposal utk disertasi aku, rezeki tuhan, tajuk aku dapat grant dari pusat aku belajar RM20k.. aku pun diberi bilik khas dan sebuah laboratory untuk menjalankan research..alhamdulillah..syukur.. dapat berkenalan rapat ngan brother2 technician ni, yusri, faizal, nik, jamil, zukri, etc.. selepas siap draft bahan experiment dan jadual eksperimen..aku pun mula la duduk kat lab ni..takut gak sesorg…lab ni location kat bawah skali and sunyi… tapi nak tak nak..kene gak la.. oleh itu..ape lagi..aku pun duk ajak member2 aku lepak la kat bawah ni skali..wakakka..lab yang tiada penghuni sudah jadi havoc..uish…

Best wat eksperimen ni..huhuu.berkenalan la dengan munir and latif, 2 org bangla yang ditugaskan utk menghancurkan kaca dan tlg aku membancuh bahan experiment aku..pada awalnyer..agak pening jugak nak fikir cara nak pecahkan kaca, botol dlm 500biji..huhu..bro jamil n nik la rajin duk tolong..terima kasih sgt kat depa..pemberi dorongan and semangat. Dan juga sania..and the gang..kakak cleaner duk tlg cucikan btl yg kotor… huhuhu.. ade gak sorang budak ni, tolong cucikan gak botol..lupa lak heheh,, jgn mare.. “the professional blogger”..tq jugak…

Memang giler jadinyer wat research ni.. nak lak guna waste material..ingat lagi..aku dan pjoh..duk pegi pusat pelupusan sampah.. kat area bypass temerloh-mentakab..wakaka..nak balik kl jek..tq adikku..aini..kerana sudi meneman mengangkut kaca ke dalam kete..dan menahan bau selama 2 jam utk sampai ke kl.. xlupa juga adik mirul, ayub, and the gang, pakcik johari, wan timah dan nenda ku yg juga menyimpan beberapa botol..huuhuu.. kenangan manis mengejar lori sampah..tima kasih pakcik lori.. dan pusat recycle di institusiku..pakcik hairi.. depa semua memang debom…

Research..research..research…. gila aku dibuatnyer..dan tak lupa juga pada ehem..suzani..jejaka yang menemani aku hari sabtu..walau xmenolong :P, tapi meneman tu pun dah seribu rahmat (tapi sbenarnye xelok juga..sbb hanya aku dan dia je kat dlm lab tu..alhamdulillah Allah lindungi lagi dari perkara yg xelok) xsepatutnye aku membiarkan situasi itu…anyway..itu dh pun berlaku..i should aware dgn hukum hakam Allah....

eksperimen aku ni ade waktu matang, memerlukan masa 90 hari..maknenyer 3 bulan..aku mula januari, so april dijangka finish dan submit final report and viva and abis study… so kiranya.abis study on time la..
Oleh kerana eksperimen ni ade specimen, and every steps kene ade pembuktian foto, so aku ni pun lantik la a multifunction fren “falidah, eh silap, fadilah@nahwanNur@the blogger and now the photographer”… adikku babana ade gak skali dua datang menolong melihat aku kendalikan eksperimen….

Hmm.. dalam wat eksperimen sambil hati berbunga..cepat jek keje siap..unfortunately..sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga, result eksperimen failed and kene redo..kene tggu 3 bulan lagi..kene collect botol kaca lagi..kene wat every single thing semula..and at the sametime unsuccessful relationship dgn si mamat shahril..esok lak nak final exam…erghh.. dugaan2..tambah lagi dpt lak penghuni baru apartment ni yg “kempro;pengotor”..ske berak bersepah…(Chinese studend dr china)…

Rasa give up..fed up..for how many weeks..aku stop wat any write progress bila consult dgn sv..wat muka bodoh..memikirkan lagi period sponsorship pun dah nk abis…tapi wajah nenda ku terbayang di mata..betapa kecewanya dia jika aku gagall…semangat kental..berkat doa dan sokongan..dan izin Allah..aku gagahkan hati..membuat semula specimen yang baru..seingat aku.specimen yang ke 3 kali baru near to result.. ergh…upset and depress..tq to fadilah sbb stay with me yg byk ragam ni..suka membebel ni, ske pasang kipas laju sampai kamu beku..wakakak…yg ignoring ni and egois..ske wat xtau bila bersalah..huhuhu..terima kasih kerana tak pernah berputus asa dgn aku…tlg bukak specimen aku dr mould..huhuhu…kenangan kita di mariam…huhuhuh…bersama asilla tgk wrong turn..bersama samihah and the new car..bersama fatihah from Thailand..bersama aini and the interview..wkaakkakak..,,byk jasa mariam ni..huhuhu… tapi xxbleh blah dengan pancake yg selalu ade kat toilet dekat tu.. xboleh blah dengan katil yg tggi tanpa tangga..dah la aku ni renek..guane nak pnjat..and the new tower fan..huhuhuhu… berjumpanyer kausar dan semakin rapat ngan mar..huhhuu..basuh baju guna washing machine..i hate that..ingat lagi..basuh baju pastu kuar,,balik2 jek hujan..hangin betul..abis baju tq to adik aini and fadilah yg tolong basuhkan semula..jasamu dikenang..adik2 yg baik..semua murah rezeki dan dalam lindungan Allah selalu…disini juga aku mmbuat keputusan untuk memilih penghuni dihatiku…walau masih ade keraguan…
All..the memory …remain…keep me smiling.. love u allssss,,,,…

Research and research lagi.. sampai barai urat perut aku duk wat eksperimen..hari2 duk bancuh concrete utk pak usop… mane bayarannya pak..engggak cukup… huhuuhuh… tapi berbaloi..dapt gold medal and bronze medal masuk exhibition antara local uni....huhuuh..alhamdulillah.. dari apartment halimah, udah pindah ke mariam dan kini pindah kembali ke halimah..masih x abis2 belajo nye aku ni..bijak sgt siiiii…. Huhuhu..apartment tu sampai dah kata..”bosannye, budak ni lagi..erk!!!!”… tapi x ingin aku amik bilik yg lama yg sekali dengan si pemberak bersepah..yarksss…gelissss….. kini aku di bilik baru…lor…lagi best..aku jek sesorg dlm apartment tu..ambik nak.. cukup 1mggu aku duk sesorg…aku balik..xtahan sunyi…aku pun ajak fadilah squat la gini..xlalu duk sorg2..fadilah pun setuju..tgk2 balik2 jek dah penuh bilik tu…huhu..dapat kawan baru…fida@fadira@faridah@rafidah, fadihlah@dil, yum@mariam@mariamah tijo ...huhuhuuuhu...memori...rapat ngan dak bilik sebelah Marcello@syahidah@syidah, ruby..salwa huhuhuhu..and the toilet story… zassss…

Kini tggl tggu ful result utk final eksperimen..kalu result negative pun aku akan proceed jek research ni…boleh jek research ni kalu result nye xbgus..Cuma xkuat utk jadikn cadangan la.. huhuhu..write up stage..mcm org giler… fadilah write up..aku pun write up.. dan kini hanan@nan shukri and khirani pun dah jadi penghuni lab juga..huhuhu…semakin bertambah..tpi zie and bebet dah jarang2 sbb da mula keje..liza pun dah grad.. huhuu…derang datang sekali sekala jek…masa semakin berlalu… tempoh sponsorship aku dh berakhir..kini aku xdek allowance lg… kete sudah ade…sape mau bayar..saving dh habis blasah wat research….satu lg masalah dtg..mkn pun tercekik…pose..share beli 1 makan ber 2.. tp Alhamdulillah..adik aku kebetulan dpt keje and afford tlg byrkan kete aku..alhamdulilah..dalam kepala ni..fikir aku perlu jual sudah kereta itu..dulu jalan kaki..skang akan kembali ke berjalan kaki…tiada ape yg aku bayangkan..hitam..masa depanku..menunggu masa utk di terminate dr kontrak aku..sudah maximum extension aku mintak..3 kali..tiada harapan lagi…tapi ayat dari budak ni memang terkesan..”ramai lagi org yg layak dpt scheme akak ni, bagi jek kat derang yg lebih layak”..rasa mcm dihempap gunung..pedih tapi benar… Allah dah beri aku peluang..nape aku perlu persiakan..tggl stage write up jek..ape yg payahnyer..hhuhuhu..jiwa apebila tidak tenang..ia resah dan gelisah..menggangu daya focus..begitula..dalam kelembapan aku tahap loana@sloan@kongkang..akhirnye aku siap and viva..

dan sempat konvo 2011…alhamdulillah…4 bulan aku hidup tnpa allowance..di saat itu adikku, kawanku sudah  menginjak ke alam pekerjaan..hanya Allah yang tau gambaran dalam diri ni..byk yg aku belajar dari nikmat itu yang ditarik…saat aku perlukan wang..raya haji 2010..aku masih ingat… tapi Alhamdulillah..setiap takdir itu membuka sedikit demi sedikit kesedaran aku akan hikmahnya..makne tersirat disebalik yang tersurat.. terima kasih ya Allah..

Masa berlalu..liza dah grad..bebet dah grad..zie dah keje and viva..aku dah abis..fadilah dah abis..adik aku pun dah keje…kak k pun dah jd agent insuran Berjaya..kak mala pun dah mula keje smula kat mukah..hmm… bermula semula perjalanan aku sebagai academic fellow..sementara nk smbg blajo lagi..hmm..alhamdulillah., and tq prof k…bagi bilik sendiri yang lengkap dengan pc, telefon, printer dan besar and selesa. The task is to prepare MSCQS document, PPDSRU commitee, RICS accreditation document.., Nampak simple..tapi dah abis suffer dgn viva suffer dgn prof k la plak..rapid k ibarat lipas kudung sedangkn aku seperti loana@sloan@kongkang…hari2 kecut perut..hari2 kene brain wash..hari2 kene warn..otak ni duk fikir correction disertasi, mscqs doc, rics doc, staff lain yg mintak tlg lg, restructure qs nye outline line dr 1st ke 4th year.. uishh..mane aku ni..akhirnye aku pening, tension, otak jammed..satu pun aku xwat…correction dah la 2 mggu sib bek dpt tangguh 1bln…hhuuhu..rics paling tension…baca jek rules and regulations.bahasa English tahap gaban..aku ni yang malay mother tongue ni..punya la bengang…words.haru…tension…profff…tolong….takut..betapa kecut perut aku ni…prof khairuddin…takut…ntah nape aku nil eh wat selamber ngan dia..akhirnye..ade staff baru dia wat mscqs..lege..aku wat rics jk… huhuhuhu… tp study course outline tu Alhamdulillah successs.. meting yg dari kul 2-6.30 itu aku akan ingat sampai bila2..baru sem1 utk student 1st year je dah lama gitu..huhuhu..

Rics je tension..rics jek tension…rics jek tension..corection jek tension……itula masa geraam..fadilah and me..merongmahawangsa, magika, tour to melaka-johor, tour to pangkor&zoo tepeng,.. tour to janda baik, FRIM,jj, carefour, giant, grinwud…wakakak… umah acu, yop, anjang…swit memory.. and peristiwa pecah cermin di tasik titiwangsa…berlari dalam hujan lebat..bestnye…bila lagi ek…

Akhirnye, dpt siapkan thesis tp blum rics..sibuk nak tunang lak…tension lagi…antara masa dan persiapan…lepas bertunang lak…sibuk kene wat rics, attend slab course, wat research proposal kene further lg..pressure smula…rics..research proposal, slab course..persiapan kawen..huhuhu…pressure…

Akhirnye, slab course done…proposal done tapi stark lak feess…. Xleh regist…rm7800 fees hostel not covered by your sponsorhip…mane aku nak korek duit ni..mintak kuar wit kwsp..2 kali kene tendang…salah isi borang..masa registration da nk ttp..dahla nak kawen lagi..nak beli barang2..hmm… pinjm dgn nenda..nenda lagi..alhamdulillah…lepas regist…and bermula smula allowance.. Alhamdulillah..sykur..proposal dah pas..masuk kelas ade 2 kelas..lak…eseimen..test… presuure..rics lg…. December 2011..kawen…submit rics and final exam…huhuhuh.. berderet..macam mane xpresure..malam nak nikah sempat lagi pagi tu memasak and pi beli barang.

Anyway….ape yg Allah buat dalam setiap perjalanan..jika diimbas kembali semuanya membawa kebaikan… think positif… no jiwa keladak say Alhamdulillah syukur ya ALLAH…

Close your eyes and take a deep breath

Dihatinye penuh kekesalan. Dia cuba melakukan yang terbaik. Tetapi jauh dibenaknya dia membentak keras dgn takdir yang menimpa dirinya. Kekesalan. Kekesalan. Mula rasa kesabitan kesalahan dia perlu melalui ini kerana kesalahan pelbagai manusia dan juga dirinya… semua yang negative dikepalanya walau dia cuba membina positif disitu. Dia seringkali kecundang. Menahan emosi. Cuba memaksa diri menerima takdir itu..terlalu sukar padanya.. kenapa semua baginya sukar…setiap urusan dan kejadian yang berlaku padanya terlalu sukar dirasakan…melihat keadaan sekeliling dengan manusia lain yang penuh kejayaan and semua berjalan lancar..satu lagi peluang syaitan menyuntik fikiran negative disitu… semakin remuk dan redam hatinya… badannya semakin lemah…

Akhirnya. Dia rasa lemah. Tidak berdaya lagi.. diluah tiada yang mendengar..diluah dirasakan semua dibuatnye salah.. diluah dirasakan semua advice macam menyalahkan dirinya… kini..dia hilang kepercayaan dan sokongan dari makhluk Allah yang bergelar manusia…

Disaat itu dipejam lama matanya. Ditarik dalam2 nafasnya. Dan fikiran dan hatinya cuba mencari Allah. Hanya Allah. La illa ha illallah. Tiada tuhan selain ALLAH. Lama. Entah berapa kali di ulang kalimah itu.

Kini baru dia mengerti percaturan Allah itu. Jika dilihat sesuatu yg berlaku itu dan dipandang dengan mata kasar akan asbab musabab nye pasti berkaitan dengan tingkah manusia…pasti diri mula menyalahkan manusia…saling menyalahkan dan perselisihan faham… peraturan Allah tentang takdir dan dugaan itu perlu difahami secara benar… dia atas setiap ape yg berlaku perlunya mendelete peranan “manusia” dalam terjadinya sesuatu ….bahkan timbulkan rasa kuat pada Allah…Allah lah yang mengaturkan manusia itu berperanan sebegitu kepada kehidupan itu.. terimalah takdir itu dari Allah..

Ape yang perlu difokuskan ialah kenapa Allah timpakan sesuatu itu pada manusia …. Kadang2 perkara yang sama diulangi…

Perlunya melihat kembali pada kafarah dosa yang di alami… kesakitan yg di alami sama kadar dengan dosa yang dilakukan… itulah peluang utk mendelete dosa lalu..

Perlu juga dilihat pada aspek penerimaan pada sesuatu perkara…adakah penerimaan itu betul dengan syariat Allah… jika tidak..pasti Allah mengulangi sesuatu kejadian berkali2 …itu peluang Allah mendidik supaya redha dengan takdirnya..itula sebaik2 penerimaan kpd sesuatu perkara…redha dan syukur..

Sama2 lah perbaiki diri…